gray brain

I feel totally uncreative. I get through every day, just make it, enough so that my kids feel cared for (and even then I fall so flat, like I did this morning). I’ve done as much work for my job as I possibly can right now, and I don’t know what more to do with myself. Do I take a walk? Go to Starbucks? My brain is gray and flat. Why don’t I have vision for the future, anything exciting, hopeful, new, interesting? I’m just making it. Jesus talked about life that was so overflowing it had to be pressed down and shaken together…not for me, apparently. Show me that life, God. Give it to me. Please. I don’t understand why you’ve abandoned me. My faith is just about gone. Steve’s is gone, and that doesn’t help me at all. Problem is, what else is there out there? If my kids don’t know Christ, they’re doomed. Oh God, this is such a game, a cruel game.

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